epiphany... just had one. Well maybe not... I just remembered something that I already knew but have ignored it in a big way.
My relationship with Christ directly affects the type of person I am. I have not been the happiest person recently and have bought up a lot of stock in other things... those aren't really important and aren't necessarily bad.
BUT... the big thing is I have just been flat out ignoring the Lord. Why? because I can.
I have come to realize... again... that God brings me so much happiness when I least deserve it but only when I'm at where he wants me.
Lately... I've been using a lot of excuses to not go to church, not pick up the word... blah blah blah. IT HAS BEEN AFFECTING ME... in a big way.
I've become somewhat apathetic. Do I still love the lord? Yes... big time! But... Am I doing what I should be... and overwhelmingly no.
Can I do okay without the Lord? Hell yeah... but I don't want to. I could be the most successful person you ever met (by the worldly definition)... but that doesn't matter to me. I just want to get straight with my savior again... for my sake... not anyone else.
I love Christ and it's time I start living like it again. What the F happened? I could blame a lot of recent events... but that's not me.
Need to get my game right!
Okay so... I've contemplating why I'm not an A student, getting all kinds of offers to go to grad school... WHY? Because, the only reason I would get a PhD would be to become the real DR DRE!
Don't get me wrong, I love going to class... I really do. But I really don't see myself enjoying grad school. I'd love to teach as a prof or a community college... but... I just don't want to do the work. The whole reason I chose sociology was because I enjoy studying it... not because the degree's gonna make me money.
I was thinking on my way to class today... "self, I'm glad you chose not to engulf yourself with school... you've done a lot of cool things... you may not have graduated on time and you're probably not gonna be making money right out of college... but you have some cool experiences"
I couldn't imagine not being a part of ministry. It's allowed me to experience so much and I feel like I'm way better off as a man... I don't believe I'd be the same if I'd just given it up and gone to school to become and engineer... which sucked... and it would have been a waste of time... because being an engineer major at this point would have meant you will not be employed anyways.
I couldn't imagine busting my butt to get a crazy high GPA... get a job working for some corporation... only to really make that corp more money. I'll take living with my parents and having an awesome part time job at Apple and having the freedom to do what I want any day.
40 plus a week where the only that would drive me to do well was a paycheck? nah!
My life goal has been achieved... I'm graduating from college. That's all I wanted to do when I was small... graduate from college. Pretty sure not many people get to say they've reached their life goal.
So what does the future hold? I dont know! but here's a list of stuff I'd like to do for a living:
1. carpentry (making some fine cabinets and counters with my uncle)
2.building furniture (I'd make some dope ish!)
3. screen printing (same as above)
4. open an in-house coffee shop/bar
5. open a mexican restaurant on the east coast or the northern states. (see 2 and 3)
all great choices... and every option includes me being my own boss. the short term goals?
1. keep my job at Apple until it's time to leave
that's it.
for now... like... right now right now... I'm going to sleep. If you notice... this was written at 12:37... PM. Notice I didn't say "I'm going to take a nap". I pulled an all nighter... just got home.
peacey weasy
DRE
